In the mirror, all I know
And everything that I can see
Is how far I would like to go
From anything to do with me,
The past created my disguise,
I try to understand the view,
I don't know if its truth or lies,
I don't think I see what you do.
You tell me, when you look at me -
I know that you would never lie -
That beautiful is what you see,
I trust the love thats in your eyes,
A new acceptance I have gained,
But still, I wish that I could be
Beyond the self abasing pain
And beautiful enough for me.
It feels so hard, I can't explain
But I have learned this through the years -
I am not shallow, stupid, vain,
Though mirrors fill my eyes with tears,
And every part of me with rage
Self hatred, hopelessness, despair,
That even love cannot assuage,
That nobody can truly share.
Maybe I shared with you my pain
And spoke about the way I feel
To hear you say the words again,
To make sure all of this is real,
To be convinced its not a dream
I made up in my other world,
That one day, face to face, you'll call me
Beautiful, your little girl.