There, see. My whelm is well and truly over. I am overturned and sinking fast! Or to put it a bit less...um...whatever it is....I am overwhelmed, tired, depressed and having trouble...um...what was it...clarifying my something...yes, thoughts. THOUGHTS. Right.
I do apologize to my blogees for not writing yesterday, and for starting off on such a cheery note today. But if this blog is to be about me, then I think it most likely that it will follow my mood swings too. The up side of this is that sometimes I am funny. When I'm not, you know, having whelm trouble. I hope it all balances out in the end and I don't send you all gibbering under the nearest piece of furniture. (Oh hello, welcome, there was some chocolate under here somewhere....)
It is nearing the end of The Week I Got Fired now, and I am starting to feel it a little. Yes, it is probably a good thing in the long run, and yes, I believe I am supposed to be a writer, ultimately. And YES, I DO believe that in the end, this year will be different because of that. But of course I have also lost that little bit of security that comes from knowing you will get tips tomorrow, and a check on pay day...of having a 'proper job' and a routine. I'm also worn out by the reasons I lost the job in the first place. I had been ill for a while with my diabetes and related issues, and then for the last two weeks or so, in a lot of pain with my arthritis (good grief, what am I, eighty??!) Yes, I can know that I didn't lose my job through anything that was within my control, but on the other hand, that is so frustrating. Though I can't honestly say my poor body doesn't have the right to get a certain amount of revenge for the things I have done to it and ESPECIALLY the things I have said to it over the years....if I was my body, I would have left by now... thank you, and sorry, Body!
So, you know what, I'm just tired. At times when I get like this, and I feel the depression creeping up on me, I often remember the Old Testament story of when Elijah was, frankly, in a right mood. "Oh, Lord, theres nobody else, I have to do this all alone, nobody caaaares......" His whelm, one might say, was over. So did God give him a big old vision and zap him better? No. He sorted him out. Food and sleep, followed by a job to do, a purpose for him to get back to working out.
Tomorrow, I will, as a certain group I was in used to say, 'do the next right thing'. Maybe God will send some ravens to stop me ravin'.